"Politeness has a bad name. We often assume it’s about being ‘fake’ (which is meant to be bad) as opposed to ‘really ourselves’ (which is meant to be good). However, given what we’re really like deep down, we should spare others too much exposure to our deeper selves. We need to learn ‘manners’, which aren’t evil – they are the necessary internal rules of civilisation. Politeness is very linked to tolerance, the capacity to live alongside people whom one will never agree with, but at the same time, can’t avoid." says Alain de Botton.
At convent school we had the subject 'manners' or 'etiquette', where we learned how to greet someone, which terms to use, how to show respect and how to be a pleasant companion. We were also made to understand that coarse language was under all circumstances unacceptable. In short, we acquired 'people skills', a supertool for the build-up of personality. " If you are better than the average, you behave better" was the motto. Poor Facebook generation. They have no idea...
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November 2023
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