really important: nº 7 ' Self-Awareness '

from Alain de Botton's "10 Virtues for the Modern Day"

​Self-Awareness
To know oneself is to try not to blame others for one’s troubles and moods; to have a sense of what’s going on inside oneself, and what actually belongs to the world.

People, especially young people are constantly scanning, searching: who they are, how they are and where they stand; all to identify themselves.  
I picked up a better insight on this when TV drPhil (yes, I am a moody fan) explained Codependency as one of the methods people tend to use to identify themselves: 
"Feelings and actions of another person affect you to the point of loosing control of your own life. Codependency is one-sided, emotionally destructive and verbally or physically abusive."
It manifests itself in a low self-esyteem, excessive care-taking and fear.
​Not the best choice to build one's personality. 
Fortunately, there are better ways.
Art and crafts e.g.​